The way those changes affect you is the interesting part. How does becoming a father change a man? When do you internalize a role? Some people talk about the earth shattering realization and overwhelming love for a baby when they see them for the first time. I never had that explosive moment. (For my kids reading this later, yes I love you and always will) But I think it is very important to put out there. I read so many accounts of instant total unconditional love from the very first moment you set your eyes on a fresh baby.

I felt very ashamed to not have that experience. There was a change, My wonderful wife and I have a baby to take care of. A lovely little bundle of joy / insomnia. I can’t tell you how guilty I felt that that moment wasn’t there.

I loved this little baby, yes. But I felt like I didn’t know them yet. I would have done anything for them from the moment they were born, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. I still feel like I’m getting to know them, as an individual and what they mean to the family dynamic as a whole. And honestly it was harder the second time. The first kid has a full on explosive personality, and with the newborn being well new, its taking a bit of time to find the little quirks in her personality that make her unique.

The only reason I’m putting this out there is because there may be some other parent somewhere feeling guilty over their moment not living up to the hype. There is a huge build up with any baby. For a dad there is 9 months of waiting, not really being able to do anything other than help your wife do what she needed to do. For a man who is used to getting into any situation up to his elbows and working problems out until they are done, sorting issues as they arise, a pregnancy is a scary thing. We have no control, and when everything happens and the bright lights of the hospital fade, you have to get to know this new person in front of you.

The only advice I can give, if you were looking for it if not then try the veal, is to give it time. Kids are stressful, hard work. I’ve only been at it for 4 years and I know there is plenty of other fun ahead. But it is worth it. If you are having a bit of a rough go of things in the beginning then just take an extra second to go about your business. The start is rough, anyone who tells you otherwise is either a liar or very very lucky.

it is with great joy that we welcome Amber Elizabeth Muller, She entered the world yelling at 3:09 pm July 12th. Despite the fact that a true lady never tells we are making an exception in this case, She weighs in at 6 lbs and 9 ounces. And stretches out to 19.5 inches long. Both Mother baby and Rest of the fam are all happy and healthy. This is going to be a good week.

Most of the time around here is spent on family stuff, honestly the wife is beating me in Tetris so bad, and so regularly I might need to call a support line, there are bruises…

Beyond that we have prep and setup for the newb coming down the pike, and generally trying to keep the house as clean as we can so we don’t have to spend any more time overhauling and scrubbing. The cats… might get shaved before this kid gets here thats all i’m saying they should shed lightly at this point.

We are down to days at this point, the newb will be arriving July 12th or shortly before. We’re scheduled, and set up at the hospital so its all over but the waiting.

Today is jury duty, its actually still going on. But this post isn’t about that but rather about free time. The judge gave us a two hour lunch, and I love me some people watching so center city is my oyster!

Taking lunch at reading terminal is nice, but it doesn’t really have enough seating for the lunchyime crowd. So an outside trip with a Greasy but good bacon cheeseburger.

I am firmly convinced that the true worth of any quick food joint lies in the production value and taste of a bacon cheeseburger. Frank’s passed with flying colors and a sh#tton of tasty shoestring fries.

On to the coffee, Old City Coffee’s six bean espresso is a revalation, and smooth black ichor of wonder. Try it if you get the chance, not even sure which six beans they are. If I end up sitting on a trial I’ll find out.

And to lovie stubbs, tu wangs and kurt waddels, thanks for adding a fun undertone to the name calling process, even if they were mispronounced at first. Now I still have an hour left of lunch an espresso to drink and time to spend with douglas adams and his salmon of doubt, nothing fits a day in court like a nice bit of the absurd. How would you spend your two hours?

During the roaring 20′s i settled down, stopped walking nearly as much (driver’s license at 22) and got a fulltime job, fulltime wife and 1.5 fulltime kids. The rest of kiddo number 2 is due in july. But i also started my 20′s with a pair of knee surgeries which i have blamed for everything since. Yes i gained a lovely 45 pounds after the second surgery, and the prolonged laying around a knee surgery required.

All of that is over excuses are done, and if i want to be able to run the bases with my kids, keep up with my very fit wife or survive and thrive beyond today then changes need to be made. I’m not stupid enough to think anything is going to change overnight but i need to stop making excuses for bad behavior.

To the gym, mind the meals. I’m 30 today still 6’2″ but also a very unhealthy 270 lbs. Same height but 90 pounds… not good. I also got a guitar for my birthday what self respecting rock legend lets himself go before superstardom?

Today, this very moment i’m 360 months old, about time for a turn around

Here is my report: Direct link to the Specific test, The Dewey Color system page has a couple other tools i haven’t played with yet so enjoy, and have a colorful day.

The Dewey Color System® is now the world’s most accurate career testing instrument.
This report based on your personality traits indicates your two most enjoyable day-day-day occupation skills. It’s a summary of the full report, the Color Leadership Evaluation 5.0.

“Studies indicate workplace enjoyment is the key to success. So as you read, consider only “Was I mostly having fun at work?” Disregard your present and past employer’s environment.

Best Occupational Category

You’re a CREATOR

Keywords

Nonconforming, Impulsive, Expressive, Romantic, Intuitive, Sensitive, and Emotional

These original types place a high value on aesthetic qualities and have a great need for self-expression. They enjoy working independently, being creative, using their imagination, and constantly learning something new. Fields of interest are art, drama, music, and writing or places where they can express, assemble, or implement creative ideas.

CREATOR OCCUPATIONS
Suggested careers are Advertising Executive, Architect, Web Designer, Creative Director, Public Relations, Fine or Commercial Artist, Interior Decorator, Lawyer, Librarian, Musician, Reporter, Art Teacher, Broadcaster, Technical Writer, English Teacher, Architect, Photographer, Medical Illustrator, Corporate Trainer, Author, Editor, Landscape Architect, Exhibit Builder, and Package Designer.

CREATOR WORKPLACES
Consider workplaces where you can create and improve beauty and aesthetic qualities. Unstructured, flexible organizations that allow self-expression work best with your free-spirited nature.

Suggested Creator workplaces are advertising, public relations, and interior decorating firms; artistic studios, theaters and concert halls; institutions that teach crafts, universities, music, and dance schools. Other workplaces to consider are art institutes, museums, libraries, and galleries.

2nd Best Occupational Category

You’re a SOCIAL MANAGER

Keywords:

Tactful, Cooperative, Generous, Understanding, Insightful, Friendly, and Cheerful

This very social type enjoys working in groups, sharing responsibilities, and being the center of attention. Fields of interest are instructing, helping, nurturing, care giving and instructing-especially young people. They discuss and consider feelings in order to solve problems, lead, direct, persuade, guide, organize and enlighten others.

• Section I: You and Your Team
  This personality overview section highlights your natural workplace talents—the tasks you pursue with passion. You’ll learn how your natural strengths complement those of your coworkers and how, joining forces, you can resolve on-the-job dilemmas.
• Section II: Your Key To Success
  Here you discover your capacity for dispelling disruption and maximizing profitability. Use this proven, beyond-self-perception advice to create a more positive career path free of detours.
• Section III: Managing Strengths and Weaknesses
  Your evaluation’s highest and lowest scores result in this section’s recommendations for staying on-track in your career and reversing wrong turns. In focusing on your talents and missteps, you’ll re-stoke your energy and enthusiasm for managing costly mistakes.
• Section IV: Leadership Power Moves
  This final section identifies your “street sense,” those power moves that turn obstacles into insignificant details. Here suggestions based on your color-ranked evaluations will guide you towards making the most of an interview or harnessing your fast-paced workday.

The Full Report: Includes…

• An in depth, stay-on-track guide to your career options.
• How to maximize on-the-job and interview strengths.
• Street sense, obstacle-solving, leadership power moves.

Share the Color Career Counselor
with your friends!

I wonder what the “Power Moves” Are

edit of course it would have helped if i published the post instead of just uploading the draft… whooops!

I have heard its better to get the content out and the process right rather than focus on the pretty. But i delayed starting the Caffination for 3 months because i didn’t have a good intro. I took the plunge and created the video content but now i’m worried about delivery, dispersal and all other types of problems. It helps to get the content out because if its boring or worthless no one will care anyway.

So we’re going to try and push on, perhaps bunching the content shoots together will help, i’m just not sure. Other than that I’m brainstorming. if anyone has any comments or helpful tips i’d love to hear them.

Alright I used to enjoy the idea of 3d movies. Now some of the scenes are intentionally shifted to create a 3D experience. Why would a character do X? Is it a natural progression of the character development or a gimmick? This movies was half and half of both.

The major issue i had is that my eyes hurt something fierce while watching the movies. i found out i must normally cock my head to one side while watching, but as soon as your eyes are out of line the image shifts out of focus… Bad Juju. The movie had scenes which were perfectly set for a 3D scene, but sometimes it just seemed out of focus, and since most of the movie was dark I was left unsure of weather it was my eyes unable to see the action because i wasn’t meant to or because i was out of sorts.

In short the idea of a 3D movie and the implementation are left very far apart. In a world where everyone is pushing higher def an entire movie in and out of focus is ridiculous. The intro to the movie, with the countdown from 10 was more enjoyable as a 3D than the rest of the movie.

I’m writing this over 9 hours after the movie my eyes still feel fuzzy my head hurts like anything, and to top that off the movie was just alright. I’d much rather have viewed a crisp poor movie than an “innovative digital 3D experience” Can we let this technology go away for good now? Just because fashion brought the 80′s back doesn’t mean we need the crappy tech along with it.

my best work has been done when i set goals and stick to them. i should have learned as much by now. One can only get by working at the last minute for so long.