Terminology: extended rant

Ok so we have talked a little about terminology in the past, specifically about LCD’s in relation to tech or geek minded people. An LCD is the least common denominator, or the stupidest tech Luddite you can imagine when relating how to do something to someone else. A Mental stenographer helps. Sample conversation

An example would be instead of saying click the start menu and go to All Programs, you might find yourself saying this. “Go to the bottom left hand corner of your screen click the green button which says start. Go to the option which says all programs and leave your mouse over that.” Now both you and I know if you say click the start button and there is a button on the screen which has that very word there then the trained monkey should damn well be able to find and click said button. But no bobo the wonder-chimp
needs a little prodding. Now this is a reaction to imagining my LCD. Every Tech has one. I should probably say i have no problem helping people unfamiliar with computer navigate through them, that is not only my job but i enjoy it as well. But when i deal with people who regularly use a computer and i need to repeat even the simplest commands and explain their purpose i get miffed.

Now some of the other terminology which you may encounter or feel the need to use.

Pin thrower: A person who given the opportunity would probably throw the pin to a grenade rather than the explosive device as was intended.  

Wetware problem: Software errors need debugging hardware errors need troubleshooting wetware problems are a direct result of the flesh sack using hardware and software. replacement is the only option.

Mimic: a special type of user whose mission in life is to repeat whatever it is you just said, slower with a blank stare. Lack of comprehension is a plus with this category. Rather than noting the problem they repeat your answer back to them

Stay tuned for more to come.

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2 responses to “Terminology: extended rant”

  1. I had a giggle reading this post. I had someone last week that for love nor money could quite work out what I meant by “cut and paste”. I am increasingly getting more and more frustrated at users that seem to immediately put on the stupid hat when it comes to computers.

    I think at times they choose to be because either they are scared to do anything or they are that intimidated it is easier to play dumb and get someone else to do it.

    I can’t wait to descibe “drap and drop”…

  2. rooster: as in you drag your ass out of here and drop it in front of a cave because, seriously, if you can’t grasp these simple concepts you have no business being in front of a computer?

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